7G01 (Some Enchanted Evening)
Caller(s): Bart, Lisa, Maggie
Moe: Phone call for Al...Al Coholic...is there an Al Coholic here?
Moe: Listen, you litle yellow-bellied rat jackass, if I ever find out who you are, I'm gonna kill you!

7G01 (Some Enchanted Evening)
Caller(s): Bart, Lisa, Maggie
Moe: Oliver Clothesoff! Call for Oliver Clothesoff!
Moe: Listen, you lousy bum, if I ever get a hold of you, I swear I'll cut your belly open!

7G03 (Homer's Odyssey)
Caller(s): Bart, Lisa
Moe: Uh, is I.P. Freely here? Hey, everybody, I.P. Freely!
Moe: Listen to me you lousy bum. When I get a hold of you, you're dead. I swear I'm gonna slice your heart in half!

7G06 (Moaning Lisa)
Caller(s): Bart, Lisa
Moe: Uh, Jacques Strap! Hey guys, I'm looking for a Jacques Strap!
Moe: It's you isn't it ya little runt? When I get a hold of you, I'm gonna gut you like a fish and drink your blood!

7F11 (One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish)
Caller(s): Bart, Lisa
Moe: Hey, is there a Butz here? Seymour Butz? Hey, everybody, I wanna Seymour Butz!
Moe: Listen, you little scum-sucking pus-bucket! When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna put out your eyeballs with a corkscrew!

7F15 (Principal Charming)
Caller(s): Bart
Moe: Uh, Homer Sexual? Aw, come on, one of you guys has gotta be Homer Sexual!
Homer: Don't look at me!
Moe: You rotten little punk! If I ever get a hold of you, I'll sink my teeth into your cheek and rip your face off!

7F22 (Blood Feud)
Caller(s): Bart, Lisa
Moe: Mike Rotch! Mike Rotch! Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately?
Moe: Listen to me you little punk. One of these days, I'm going to catch you, and I'm going to carve my name on your back with an ice pick!

8F02 (Treehouse of Horror II)
Caller(s): Bart, Mrs. Krabappel, Sherri/Terri
Moe: Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt

8F08 (Flaming Moe's)
Moe: Uh, Hugh Jass? Oh, somebody check the men's room for a Hugh Jass!
(There is a Hugh Jass at Moe's and he takes the call)

8F09 (Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk)
Caller(s): Bart
Moe: Bea O'Problem! Come on, guys, do I have a Bea O'Problem here?
Barney: You sure do!
Moe: Listen, you. When I get a hold of you, I'm going to use your head for a bucket and paint my house with your brains!

9F06 (New Kid on the Block)
Caller(s): Bart
Moe: Uh, Amanda Huggenkiss? Hey, I'm looking for Amanda Huggenkiss! Ah, why can't I find Amanda Huggenkiss?
Barney: Maybe your standards are too high!
Moe: you little S.O.B.! Why, when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!

9F06 (New Kid on the Block)
Caller(s): Laura Powers, Bart
Moe: Ivana Tinkle? Ivana Tinkle? All right, everybody, put down your glasses, Ivana Tinkle!
(no response)

2F19 (The PTA Disbands)(Not at Moe's, in the classroom)
Moe: OK, when I call your name, uh, you say "present" or "here". Er, no, say "present". Ahem, Anita Bath?
Moe: All right, settle down. Anita Bath here?
Moe: All right, fine, fine. Maya Buttreeks!
Moe: Hey, what are you laughing at? What? Oh, oh, I get it. It's my big ears, isn't it, kids? Isn't it? Well, children, I can't help that!

3F14 (Homer the Smithers)
Caller(s): Mr.Burns
Moe: Oh, so, you're looking for a Mr.Smithers, eh? First name Wayland, is it? Listen to me, you; when I catch you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes and stick 'em down your pants, so you can watch me kick the crap outta you, okay? Then I'm gonna use your tounge to paint my boat!

3F17 (Bart on the Road)
Caller(s): Homer, Lisa
Homer: Hello, I'd like to speak with a Mr.Snotball, first name Eura
Moe: Eura Snotball?
Homer: What? How dare you! If I find out who this is, I'll staple a flag to your butt and mail you to Iran!